тнe-вεε-dreαмeя❤

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❤ Thursday, February 4, 2010

I have been busy ❤

I have been busy and I was worried for my studies
because I was having some problems...ahem??especially my health,
keep falling sick..zzz
and I hardly to pay full attention on my studies
and some problems
and I hope everything will be settled real soon…

If not,I will be very stressful and
I will not be having enough time to do revision
I really wish I could behave myself and study hard,
not just for my parents but for myself as well,
also I don’t want to disappoint my parents that always put a high hope in me.

My emo feelings is coming back again however
I don't have time being EMO because of the stupid homework,
the god damn notes...
when i reach home it's already 6pm and imagine,
sometimes i need to relax, need to check mails, need to have dinner ,
need to do homework, need to shit, need to take a bath,
need to revise my work and when I'm done, it is already 12 or 1am

that's why i always yawn in the class

Bee ❤
1:26 AM

❤ Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy New YEar ❤

i know those of you who have been reading my blog are gonna say
' here she goes again, mourning and mourning all the time'...
I don't want to be like that, but i can't help it

I have been having bad skin these days
WTF is wrong with my back the acnes keep on growing non-stop DAMN!!!

And emm…
I actually wanted to blog about something but
I can’t recall what is it
(after 3 minutes)
darn I still cannot remember what I was planning to blog about
Leave it for tomorrow then maybe

Last and not least

Happy New Year everyone!

Let’s sweap away all the unhappy stuff
All the unhappy memories
And lets incoming all the good ones

Always want to be better, for ourselves
Gambateh people

Bee ❤
11:01 PM

❤ Thursday, December 17, 2009

Miss someone ❤

For the past few days,
someone from the past keeps coming into my mind
it has been ages since the last time i talk to that someone*
to make life easier for all of us,
We'll call that person K*
but there are so many things that happens around
here that reminds me of K ....and it sucks
because I cant concentrate properly..
its horrible that K keep popping up
and everything around me is like associated to K
which makes me think of it even more~!
and i am complaining because I dowan to think bout K
I hate that feeling
I hate thinkin bout stuff in the past that
I've been tryin to forget its
not that its not good memories but...........
I just wanted to leave it behind!!!!!

"no news is good news"

Bee ❤
11:56 PM

❤ Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I feel lonely ❤

yea,I feel lonely
I’m not sure when did I start having this loneliness feeling
but yesterday when I go to the mall and I see my bro with his gf and my sis with bro in law holding hands together and shopping
I feel envy,
and I started thinking,
why other girls have someone to love and care about them…
and I don’t

I actually do not see any reason for a guy to be with me
Am I pretty? No
Am I nice? No
Am I smart? No
Am I sexy or hot? No
I know most people will say if a guy loves you,
he’s not gonna care how you look like
By the way,
if you see an ugly girl like me, would u go talk to her?
90% no, so looks still play an important role

Maybe I’m lack of confidence ...oh well hunny...
how to be confident if you’re ugly
I always feel people looking down at me
I guess it is me that look down at myself always
Yeah …
I’m useless
I’m gonna be lonely for the rest of my life
I’m pittyful because I have no one to love me
So I’ll go ‘F’ myself now

Bee ❤
1:39 AM

❤ Tuesday, December 8, 2009

zzzzz ❤

I was surfing the internet on Friday night
and suddenly I felt really weak and tired thus i lied down in my bed
and I realized there was something wrong with me
so when i wanted to take pills i threw up and two hours
after i had medicine i threw up again
And the next day, i threw up 3 times,
I was lying in my bed all the time ,
couldn't stand up because once i stood up i would puke,
and after i puked i felt really good it was such a relief wooooo.
However when i started eating or drinking,
I would throw up again after a few hours.
It was like no matter what i drank or ate,
i would puke them all out and that was really suck!

Bee ❤
2:37 AM

❤ Tuesday, December 1, 2009

2012 ❤

I had trouble sleeping last night.
Had this massive headache and I think I had a fever.
At that time i was thinking,
omg i'm gonna die...
But at the same time,
i was thinking :
Go immune system! Go white blood cells! Rid me of sickness~!

I don't know if this 'theory' is right or not
but fevers are you're body's mechanism to fight germs.
So actually those micro organisms don't cause fever,
fever is induced by the body.
Everything is back to going well i guess.
And another weekend is coming in 3 days.
Time passes really quick.
=/ It's really scary.

I know it is quite late to post about this,
Coz I'm lazy to blog !
Alright I went to watch 2012 with Jeslyn,Shirley,Bernice,Wan Ni and Clar last week
and gosh we hurt our neck because we were late to purchase tickets
and in the end we had to sit quite in front
and the movie was 2 hours and 40 minutes
we were so tired after the movie.

I won’t give a high rating to this movie as emm....
it was kinda exaggerating especially when Jackson Curtis drove his family all the way to get the plane to China LOL!
and why did they give such a huge mission to China -.-"
well I know the Chinese are rich now so everybody wants to ‘wipe their shoes’,
if you don’t know what I mean ,
what I’m trying to say is the movie is making china looking so strong so powerful that they are able to build such a big ship

What a coincidence Jeslyn and I felt that Sasha (Yuri the fat rich Russian man’s pilot) is very hottt!!!!!

She told me “ when he almost died (but not yet)
i was like don't die you are too good looking to die,
and when he died i was like "there goes the only good looking guy"

There are some funny scenes in the movie like when Jackson wanted to start the car engine but he couldn’t ,
everybody in the car went panic and they were shouting,
so Yuri shouted “Everybody shut up” and he said “Engine start”...
okay "voice activated" and yeah finally they could drive the car everyone in the cinema was laughing

Also when Tamara gave a middle finger_|_ zzzzz (clar was poking me that time)
to Yuri right before the door was closed, we were like 'oh wow that’s hot'

Bee ❤
2:18 AM

❤ Thursday, November 26, 2009

2nd semester ❤

I just got my timetable for the 2nd semester,
what a MIRACLE?
i don't have classes on Monday,
but i have to study from 9 am-4.30pm on Tuesday to Friday
but nevermind,
at least i have 3 days to rest

*****wait a minute,
i just found that every Thursday i do not have recess at all,
my timetable is like that>>
9am-11am Business Information System and Technology
11am-1pm Fundamental of Accounting(tutorial)
1pm-3pm Fundamental of Accounting(lecturer)
3pm-4pm Macroeconomics
OMG!!!!!
that means in the morning i have to have double meals???

This coming semester i got 3 subjects,
each subject will be having two lecturers a week,
its like today lecturer tomorrow tutorial the next day lecturer and the next
next day tutorial,
Yawn,will be busy soon

okay,after came back from shoppeh,
Maple-ed awhile,until darling went to sleep
then doing some English vocab exercises now
I bought the book 3 years ago *shame*
since 3 years ago I did not touch it at all then I think now it’s the best time for me to brush up my English learn some new words make some improvement instead of laying in the couch watching TV most of the time or sticking my butt on the chair facing the computer surfing for nothing

bloody hell only 20 questions but it seems like I am taking ages to complete them , there are many many words I don’t recognize *cry, for each queation
I’m given 4 answers to choose that’s why I’m so slow.
I might still be doing these until the cock crows tomorrow morning
( I don’t want this to happen) oh my lord give me strength !!!

besides that earlier I was also surfing some colleges info on the net,
i'm confused, i'm really directionless ,
ain’t know what to do ,
I think most probably I’m going to stick with my old college *sigh NO FUN!

I was listening to Patience by Take That
I think most of you have heard of it ,
the lyrics describe what I’m feeling now so well especially this one
I'll try to be strong
Believe me I'm trying to move on
It's complicated but understand me

Bee ❤
1:10 AM

❤ Wednesday, November 25, 2009

BLABLALA ❤

I should be sleeping now but im not because…
hmm I don’t know why,
there are always too much stupid shits on my mind that make me keep on thinking and thinking
Was planning a victorious post for today..
but i guess it wasn't meant to be.
Kinda lazy to blog now..
hahahahh.. will elaborate later.

But anyway, i want to thank my group members
for all the effort that we all put in.
Even though in the end things didn't turn out as well as we wanted it to,
but it's worth it i guess?
I'm trying console all of us. >.<

My life sucks.
hahaha.. i bought a new book last week
and i haven't had the time to start reading it.
I want to buy more books! Someone pls stop me.
My shelf is filling up with books.
Yawn,wasting and wasted moneh~

Going to watch 2012 with a bunch of idiots later =x
*yawn*

Bee ❤
3:06 AM

❤ Wednesday, November 18, 2009

YAWN ! ❤

You know what paradise is?
It's a LIE.....
It's merely an ILLUSION....
It does NOT exist...
And never will exist...
There's no such thing as a paradise on earth...
No way this place would exist...
Everyone's dreaming of living in paradise...
Enjoying life to the fullest in paradise..
hassel free...problem free...enjoying mother nature...
no quarrels..no hectic lifestyle..no burden..no hatred..no misunderstandings..
yea, that is what I call paradise....

I feel kinda lucky too, since yesterday (even though i was kinda unlucky)...
I used to think that you were the one
I'm so glad to have known you.
But now,its over
you don't seem to understand me anymore.
Even I could realize that something was wrong, but why not you??
I know that it's not that you don't understand.
you just don't wanna understand the whole situation.
you just can't accept the fact.
you are putting the blame on me,
I know.I'm sorry i had to say this in such a manner.
for you know that I'm feeling really tired already?
I'm sorry if I hurt you badly, but it's not my choice.
I seriously don't wish that our wonderful and precious friendship would end just like that.
Really hope that our friendship will be FOREVER!!!
Sorry i Just cant control my feeling now

You may hate me for this post.
But I just can't stand it anymore.
I NEED to pour it out.
Our point of view maybe different.
But this is how i exactly feel.
I wish i knew what you are thinking!
I still miss you,and I'll always cherish the moments we had,
I hope you won't forget those moments too.
Seriously hope that the memories will live.
Please forgive me for all the wrongs I've done.
I pray that our relationship will never end,come what may....

and...
Facing things that i never expect i would have to face.
never thought that it came that fast.
i tried to solve it but can't.
it seems like it grows in me without knowing it. it's unbelievable!
When i started to accept this faith.
Many objections came to me.
No place for me to run or hide.
i don't know who i should look for.
i know even if i seek for help, i may not get the help i need.
it's too complicated only i can make the decision my own.
i don't know what i'm doing now is right or wrong.
i really don't want to take the wrong step.
it's about my future. i'm so confused! i need guidance,
I need support.
Not anymore stress!
I'm afraid I couldn't take it and I'll give up.
but I really don't want these days to come.

I really can cry out..but cant
went down to living hall watch tv until 6 am
until my dada awake then i str8 go back to my room

Bee ❤
12:10 AM

❤ Friday, November 13, 2009

Childhood ❤

I hate the fact that I cant put passwords for my articles in blogspot.....

Nth much happened today,
went to college in the early morning to get the file from my friend for the stupid dumb project.
After that back from college around 12 30,bathe and prepare to go out with another bunch of idiots lol =x
Nth much,they spent their time at arcade,
well you know I hate this kind of place.
What to do,stayed at starbuck and enjoyed vanilla shake alone.bla....

Anyway, i bumped into a childhood friend just now at Sunway
At 1st glance... i dun even remember who he is...
Though I stil dun remember his name now
but omg, he really changed a lot...
Gone is that young shy boy who played with me
in his place now stand a tall, tan color, playboy-ish, stylish guy
and he dun look that shy anymore... and obviously not so innocent looking
I remember him challenging me 2 a game of drinking a year or two back
and gotten drunk himself... fooling around with his dad like 2 big kids

As we grow older, we lost the innocence in us...
Emotionally and psychically
We are not those little kids that play with strangers and runs around happily not caring a thing in the world
Last time, we dun mind rolling in mud, messy hair, dirty hands
now it took us 1hour just to get ready for a day out
and we snapped at whoever that touched our carefully styled hair...
As kid, the most important thing is to play, eat, sleep
Throwing a tantrum whenever we don't get Wat we want
but, imagine a 19 year old stamping his feet throwing a tantrum...
People will think he is crazy
Our biggest worries as a kid is not being able to play with friends,
or not getting 100 in tests
But as an adults, we fear of not being in the "in-geng", we fear being back stabbed, even handing in assignments on time is a problem.....
bottom line, i miss being a kid

Bee ❤
8:59 PM